Can you tell us a little about yourself?
ALEX: Well, I’m the star of the proverbial show. I’ve been doing parkour and martial arts since I was a street punk kid, so, by the time I ran away and joined the Foreign Legion, I was shoo-in for the Commando Parachute Group. I’ve seen combat deployments, both with the Legion and as a private contractor, in Iraq, Afghanistan, all over Africa and Eastern Europe, and even the U.S. My primary missions are [numerous expletives deleted].
TED: Yes, well, Alex’s foray into fantasy land is a good segue into my introduction. My first job is to babysit him and make sure he doesn’t do anything too stupid. Naturally, I can’t stop him from doing or saying his every stupid thing, but I try my best.
ALEX: Whatever, [expletive deleted].
TED: As for me, I was a child prodigy when it came to computers. I attended Massachusetts Institute of Technology and graduated in three years with a dual degree in Computer Science and Engineering. I also handle the business side of our company, including booking jobs and, especially, meeting with clients, as Alex is wholly incapable of normal human interaction.
What is your role in the story?
TED: As usual, much of the responsibility for getting the job done falls to me. Our mission was to locate and recover a young American woman by the name of Guinevere “Gwen” Kane and extract her from the dastardly international cult known as The Church of the Unification.
ALEX: Bunch of certifiable whackos.
TED: I located her, came up with an extraction plans and exit strategies –
ALEX: -- but when [expletive deleted] hit the proverbial [expletive deleted] fan, I took over and got the job done. I break things and kill people and that was what the mission called for. Ted just made things difficult – or facilitated my job, depending on how you look at things.
TED: It must be nice to live in a walking fantasy 24/7.
ALEX: No complaints.
What is your favorite hobby?
TED: Alex, don’t –
ALEX: I’m glad you asked. I [expletives deleted.]
TED: [Sighs heavily.] Alex enjoys poisoning his body with tobacco and all the booze he can swill while watching cartoons in his underwear. I, on the other hand, run six miles a day. My hobbies include –
ALEX: [Snores animatedly.]
TED: [Sighs heavily again.] Next question?
What is the challenge you’re trying to overcome during the story?
TED: First and foremost, we need to accomplish our mission.
ALEX: Otherwise we don’t get paid.
TED: Yes, that’s the important part. Rescuing Gwen means facing down a literal army of fanatic churchgoers, including those with combat and special operations experience.
ALEX: Though none of them are Foreign Legion, that’s for damned sure.
TED: Alex’s irrelevant point aside, we have to traverse thousands of miles while being doggedly pursued the whole way. Survival means unlocking the terrible truth behind Gwen’s value to the Church of the Unification before it’s too late.
ALEX: And killing people and breaking stuff.
TED: Or using your handful of brain cells to think past the obvious answers.
ALEX: And, when all that brainiac stuff fails, killing people and breaking stuff.
TED: You really should have let me do this interview.
ALEX: Hell no, you’d make us sound like a bunch of –
TED: Next question, please.
If you could make one wish, what would it be?
TED: Oh, Alex, please, do take this one. I think you’ve got something very appropriate for this moment.
ALEX: Nah, I’m good.
TED: Really? You can’t think of anything? Nothing you might wish for? Any –
ALEX: Nope. Nothing. Nada. Rien. Nichts.
TED: Okay, I’ll take it. Alex would wish for –
ALEX: There are 270 bones in the human body and I know how to break each one of them. Please, keep talking.
TED: I think that’s enough questions for one day, don’t you?
Title: Godwin’s Law
Author: Bernard Maestas
Gwen Kane, estranged daughter of a Forbes millionaire and the bearer of a horrifying secret is lured into a dangerous international cult. It falls to Alex Kirwan and Ted Reagan to rescue her. What should be easy money for the mercenary team of a freerunning ex-commando and his computer hacking partner proves to be anything but as they find themselves doggedly pursued across Europe, Canada and the United States by highly trained forces with resources vastly disproportionate to the recapture of one missing acolyte.
Will Alex and Ted unravel the mystery of Gwen’s importance in time to survive?
Will Gwen pierce the seemingly impenetrable armor around Alex’s heart?
Will Alex and Ted get paid?”
Bernard Maestas lives in paradise. A police officer patrolling the mean streets of Hawaii, he has a background in contract security and military and civilian law enforcement. When not saving the world, one speeding ticket at a time, and not distracted by video games or the internet, he is usually hard at work on his next book.