Where’s The Most Inappropriate (Physical) Place You’ve Masturbated?
Yes, we’ve all done it. The question is, where’d you do it that, if you had been caught, it would have been traumatic? Sporting event? Bathroom at work? Public pool? I’ve seen arrest records, so I know it happens. What I wouldn’t give for a story about doing it on the boss’ desk… Ah, dreams.
I tried to put these into categories, and there were some true WINNERS that I saved for last.
Under the desk at work while everyone was in a meeting in the next room
All in the Family
Family car on a road trip in the very backseat by myself under a sheet.
In tent next to parent
On the couch watching a movie with family. Had a blanket and it was dark
That’s What Friends Are For
Friend's place during a sleep over with everyone around
Girlfriend's car whilst she was driving
In my girlfriend's bathroom with her dad and her in the room next to it. I took like 20 minutes and it got pretty awkward when I walked out.
I Didn’t Learn THAT in School
A mattress set up for drunks at a college grad party. It was at my house and people were in my bedroom and the mattress was in a spare bedroom and nobody was in there.
On a school trip in 7th grade, I went into the hotel room's bathroom so my friend wouldn't know I was doing it. I wouldn't say that's inappropriate, but I'm not super into masturbation or orgasms. I had sex in my partner's mother pool once, though, and he ejaculated into the water. I think that is inappropriate
The Mile High Club and Other Assorted Moving Violations
A moving vehicle on the freeway
(Under a jacket) Employer’s car in motion, whilst sitting next to coworkers.
The car on the side of a road. Pulled over, did the deed, kept driving (only one in car).
How Many Hail Mary’s Do I Get For That?
Church confession booth
Church parking lot
These are the ones that, if true, are people to look up to and be respected – I for one, bow to your superiority… you are each my hero! I’ve ordered them from least to greatest, at least in my opinion, although the last two are somewhat of a tie for me, but the ‘being shot at’ put it over the top. You sir, are a true hero, I don’t care WHAT people say.
Shed full with spiders rats and no doors
Vegas peep show
Snuck a vibrator into a mental hospital when I had been told it was not allowed
White House bathroom
Outside Fallujah, in the back of my vehicle, while being shot at
<Please note chapter has been truncated as sample chapter>
Title: Sexual Confessional: Confidential Admissions from Social Media
Author: Nicole Delacroix
Genre: Non-Fiction Humor / Essay
Discovering secrets is titillating.
Everyone wants to peek under the covers, be a fly on the bedroom wall, or read someone’s diary. The juicier the secret, the more people want to know it, and sex is the most taboo of all subjects.
It’s human nature to be curious about what everyone else is doing. What do people like about sex? What are their fantasies? How far are they willing to go to please the one they love? These questions and more are explored, where everyday people offer up their most intimate secrets about sex.
One part social experiment – one part personal journey mixed with a little shock value, a whole lot of confession, laugh-out-loud comedy, deceptively thought-provoking questions and answers, all in the name of self-awareness. A foray into the inappropriate Sexual Confessional is a brash, unfiltered look at sex in the new millennium as seen by social media. A cautionary tale that warns “be careful what you ask the internet for, you may just get it…”
Nicole Delacroix was raised with a deep love for words and literature. This appetite for reading was the foundation fuelling her creative passion for writing. With a strong will and precocious nature, she is the atypical Texan Southern belle, preferring the fantastical, science and reason. Growing up in the buckle of the Bible Belt, writing was her saving grace.
A fan of all genres, she will most often be found buried in fantasy, science fiction or nonfiction, favoring George RR Martin, Douglas Adams and Michio Kaku, while Joan Rivers, Mae West, Madonna and Audrey Hepburn are personal role-models, each possessing a strength she admires. Diversity extends to her writing as well, as she writes about anything that strikes her interest, with a keen eye for character and the absurd.
A blogger, author, and IT professional for a major ISP, she is consistently sought out to provide guest blogs and the oft-maligned tech manual, and receives many requests to review new works from fellow authors. She believes life is about possibilities, which challenges her to write outside her comfort zone, trying new projects and meeting new people.
Fiercely loyal to friends, family and pets, she is a proud member of the Atlanta Writer’s Club, avid Tweeter, and closet Anglophile with addictions to British Tea, Doctor Who and Soccer. Above all, she maintains sarcasm is a legitimate art form and strives to challenge conventional thinking.
Glimpse of Darkness, April 2014 – October 2014
Common Misconceptions About Literary Agents, January 21, 2015 Post Link
Guest Post: How Many Frogs Do I Have To Kiss?, January 19, 2015 Post Link
Guest Post: Books Vs. E-readers, December 21, 2014 Post Link
Guest Post: Using Createspace, December 21, 2014 Post Link
Guest Post: Author Social Media Checklist, December 6, 2014 Post Link